Sometimes life hands you a hard pill to swallow along with the realization that you can’t always get what you want. It’s tough to hear that: “Sorry, you can’t get what you want. Not today. Not ever.” Life sucks sometimes, but that’s life.
When things don’t go your way, it can be upsetting, and even heart breaking. Something you’ve been so sure of can come crumbling down in a matter of seconds like an avalanche of memory filled rocks, raining on your skin and bruising your heart.
You could spend ages trying to figure out the cause of the avalanche and wondering why it had to happen. Why to you, why now? You backtrack your steps in your mind and try to justify why things ended up the way they did. Sometimes there is no answer, and that is the hardest of all the pills to choke down.
What can you do when things just aren’t going your way, and how can you pick yourself out of a slump?
Stop worrying about the reasons
It’s easier said than done, since our minds can be evil little things that keep us revisiting the same “whys” and “what ifs” again and again like a broken record. The first step to getting out of the dumps is to stop worrying about every little detail. Just stop. If you catch yourself looking for a reason, quickly focus your attention on something else. Worrying about the reasons for your demise is an endless internal battle and all you are doing is causing more stress and anxiety thinking about them.
Dust yourself off
Stand up from that rubble and dust off your negative vibes. Know that you are a strong person who can handle anything life throws at you, memory filled rocks and all. By being bigger than the situation, you can start to see things in a different light. Telling yourself that you can stand up and move on is a huge step in overcoming a bad time.
Know that you are amazing
It can be hard to praise yourself when life isn’t going the way you planned. But just stop for a minute and tell yourself that you are amazing. You’ve come this far, and there is always a way to deal with the present moment. You might not have been able to get what you wanted this time, but there is always next time. (and guess what, there will always be a next time).
Your upsets don’t define you
Sometimes when we find ourselves in what seems like a continuous loop of heart break or disappointments, it can start to weigh on us. We think that these situations are just bound to happen to us because that is just who we are. We attract these things and so therefore should always expect them to keep happening. Nonsense! The only way to break this cycle is to realize that you are not defined by your misfortunes and understand that you have the power to change them for the better.
Just worry about yourself
Occasionally when something doesn’t end up working out, other people are involved. You may worry that by making a certain move or opening your mouth, you might harm someone else. When it comes to your life and decisions that may impact your own future, you need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus on yourself. If you are not doing what you think you should be doing simply because you worry about what somebody else might think, you need to get over that, sister! Your life. Your rules.
Chin up, note taken!
We learn from every mistake or situation in our lives. It’s how we keep growing and experiencing new things. It may be tough now, but try to store this experience away as a lesson learned. One that can prevent you from having the same thing happen in the future, or one that you can recognize in a similar situation. When you chalk things up to being experiences, it’s easier to move on and know that if everything happens for a reason, this set back was only part of a greater plan.
If you can’t tell, I’m having a bit of a hard time today. Writing these thoughts down has helped my spirit go from a 2 to a 9, so hopefully these bits of advice can help you as well if you’re struggling with a hard situation.
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